Coping with my Mama's Stage 4 Lung Cancer while 8 weeks pregnant

This has been the hardest week of my life. My mother was diagnosed with Stage 4 Lung Cancer which has mestastasized to her brain in 4 tumors.   She also has an enlarged heart from heart disease.  She went into the emergency room for a bad migraine and came out with stage 4 lung cancer.  My mother is the strongest person I know. She has been cheated on, left for her best friend,  put down, buried her child, buried her father, battled heart disease her whole life, and raised 4 children basically on her own. We saw our dad every other weekend.  My mom has battled every fight she's ever been through with faith and courage and has come out the victor.  She has always relied on God to get her through the dark places in life, and so that is what I know I need to do now.  The only problem is, is that this is the most terrifying time in my life and my mother lives 18 hours away from me.  I find that writing is the one thing that has always gotten me through the really dark and tough times. That and faith. 

On top of dealing with all of this, I am 8 weeks pregnant.  I am also the mother to an amazing 3 year old, a wife, a teacher, and a daughter.  Overwhelmed is an understatement.  

Right now where my mother is concerned, I am somewhere between completely devastated and holding onto hope.  Most days I end up on both ends of the spectrum.  I wonder how am I supposed to be a good mother and teacher right now. I am terrified of what I am going to miss, how my depression will affect my child. I know that prayer is the answer.  Sometimes though it just gets really dark.

 I'm trying very hard on the mother end, but sometimes it takes all my energy just to keep from falling apart. He's the sweetest little boy I know. He comforts me. He tells me everything is going to be okay.  He shouldn't have to be doing that. I know.  I don't know how people do this- keeping it all together while 8 weeks pregnant and living 18 hours from their mother all while being a mother of a pre-pre-schooler and work full time. I go back to work tomorrow.

On a positive note- I did these surveys last pregnancy, and it is fun to look back and read them now. So I thought I would do them now.

Mama, Me, and my nephews George and Ethan

Putting Ethan to sleep

Remi Paul

How far along? 8 Weeks

Total weight gain/loss: I think I lost a few pounds this week. I'm not sure. I don't have a scale. I've been forcing myself to eat though.

Sleep: I wake up most nights a few times. I guess due to life right now though.

Interesting Dreams: None that I can remember

Best moment this week:  Hugging my baby when I got off the airplane.

Movement: n/a

Symptoms: A little queasiness. Food aversions- nothing too sweet.  Breast tenderness.

 Food cravings: I just crave things that are warm and salty. I was craving pickles.

Food aversions: honestly most food isn't appealing right now, but I'm making myself eat. Chicken sounds repulsive.  anything super sweet.

  
Gender: I've thought a boy all along, but I've thought girl a couple times this week.

 
Labor Signs: n/a

Belly Button in/ out: in

What I miss: Last week. When life was normal, and my mom was okay.

What I am looking forward to: Finding out the gender. Seeing my mom again in 4 weeks.

Weekly Wisdom: Pray.

 
Milestones: Not sure.

34 Weeks 6 Days

I've gotten bad at updating this thing lately,but life has gotten super busy with little Remi on his way.  We had our first shower for Remi, thrown by Chasity and Leah.  It was awesome!  My friend Ashley made the cake and it was delicious.  We got lots of diapers and clothes, a bouncer, and lots of little necessities.  Pictures below!

https://plus.google.com/photos/109948607340807531528/albums/5843057418441992497?authkey=CIy7_8e1vJyqWw


My next shower is tomorrow, and I'll have my last one on the 18th from my coworkers. :) We are a blessed little family.  I can't wait till tomorrow, because we will finally get the crib!  All Remi has in his room right now is his dresser and a little organizer (and all of daddy's comic books of course).  I can't wait to get a bigger place. haha

Great Grandma Frith got Remi a glider so he can be rocked to sleep by mommy and daddy. That should be in around the 20th.  Nana Brown got Remi a Pack-N-Play so Remi can sleep in the room with mommy and daddy (not sure when that'll be in).  All in all we are getting very close! 

I've had Braxton Hicks contractions, but no real contractions.  I went to the doctor Wednesday, and Dr. Lafleur said my cervix seems like it should cooperate. We shall see!  I have a weird cervix that goes from 2 to fused into 1.  So I really hope I can have a vaginal delivery.  :)  I go back Tuesday for a growth ultrasound and my strepp b test. 

I am off from school till Wednesday, so that's super exciting.  :) School has had me in tears so much lately, because I have been soooo stressed out between work, marriage, and a baby on the way that I think I'm about to lose my mind! But my blessings are numerous, so I can't complain too much.

Baby Survey! :)
How far along? 34 Weeks and 6 Days

Total weight gain/loss:I've gained about 16 pounds.

Sleep: I have this horrible burning pain on my skin where it is stretched the most (my ribs).  Remi likes to get up in there (all the time), but especially at night.  So my back hurts behind my ribs and my skin feels like it's on fire in front of my ribs.  My lower back hurts because of the added weight.  Needless to say, I don't sleep very much.  I did sleep in today though! :)

Interesting Dreams- I had an awful dream that I found my mommy dead. :(  I've had a lot of very vivid dreams lately.  They feel so real!

Best moment this week: hmm I'd have to say it was when Jeremy and I were lying in bed early in the morning and Jeremy had his hand on my belly.  Remi just kept kicking him over and over. It was so sweet.  He'd never got to feel it that much before. :)

Worst moment this week:

this was a loooooooong week at work. 

Movement: lots and lots :)

Symptoms: umm cravings for sure.  Braxton Hicks contractions. Back Pain. Rib Pain. Frequent urination. Burning skin.  Movement.  Weight gain.
 Food cravings: ice creammmm. All the time. I've wanted ice cream every day here lately.  I also have a new found love of Chinese buffet. :)

Food aversions:  hmm nothing really. I'm still hesitant to eat the things that made me sick my first trimester- such as Outlaw's BBQ which my husband has been wanting for days. 

 
Gender Prediction: It's a boy!

Labor Signs: Baby has turned head down! and Braxton Hicks contractions.
Belly Button in/ out: It pokes way out a lot, unless Remi is in a weird position, then it's sucked wayyy in. lol
What I miss: My body being my body.  I love feeling my baby move, but I'm in so much pain all the time now that I'm ready to just get to hold him and have my own body back. 
What I am looking forward to: Remi being here.
Weekly Wisdom: 
Take everything one day at a time.  Don't panic if everything isn't prepared how you want it.  You can only do so much. :)

31 Weeks 3 Days

 Baby Survey! :) (Wednesday, January 16, 2013.)

How far along? 31 Weeks and 3 Days

Total weight gain/loss:I've gained 12-14 pounds. Somewhere in that area. :)

Sleep: I've been having more trouble sleeping lately. My back hurts when I lie down, and Remi likes to stay in my ribs. It used to be that when I laid down flat he got out of my ribs, but not anymore. Plus I wake up to pee at least twice a night.

Interesting Dreams- haha Last week I had a dream that my cousin (who would never ever do something like this) kicked me in the stomach, made me bleed, and sent me into labor and just left me lying on a random sidewalk! I had been reading a little too much on preterm labor that day. lol

Best moment this week: Today! haha We have today off due to hazardous weather (in Louisiana if it rains too much they close the interstate- haha okay and it's a little icy ;).  I really want to work on lesson plans, but I'm having a super hard time getting motivated.

Oh yea- and even better than today was Sunday! My 24th Birthday. :)  I went and saw The Hobbit with Jeremy, and then Chasity and Caleb cooked us dinner. So much fun! Love my friends and hubby! :)

Worst moment this week: hmm.  I guess I haven't had any terrible moments this week.  I did wake up completely overwhelmed one day this past weekend

Movement: He still moves quite a bit, and I can actually see it quite clearly in my stomach when he moves or kicks.  He also started getting the hiccups- at least frequently enough so that I could figure out what it was. :)

Symptoms:I'm getting to the plain uncomfortable point in pregnancy. He basically spends the whole day in my ribs. It's hard to breathe, and it's hard to get up and do anything. I feel a little more pressure down towards my pelvic region, but not a lot.  I'm also tired a lot.  However, I can finally see the light! 8 1/2 weeks to go!

 Food cravings:hmm.  Nothing sticks out.  Maybe donuts. I've definitely been wanting them a lot lately.

Food aversions:  hmm nothing really. I'm still hesitant to eat the things that made me sick my first trimester- such as Outlaw's BBQ which my husband has been wanting for days. 

 
Gender Prediction: It's a boy!

Labor Signs: Baby has turned head down! (Not exactly labor, but it's positive progress. :) )

Belly Button in/ out: It pokes way out a lot, unless Remi is in a weird position, then it's sucked wayyy in. lol
What I miss: Sleeping howeverrrr I wanted to. On back, on belly, without worrying I'm suffocating my baby.
What I am looking forward to: Remi being here.
Weekly Wisdom:
Enjoy being pregnant, because before you know it your getting close to the finish line, and realizing you'll miss feeling his little movements and kicks.

28 Weeks 5 Days

 So, I've been a bad blogger as of late, due to the business of Christmas, and a flu-like cough and fever combo. The fever is gone, the cough is now lingering for the 11th day, and I am beyond miserable.  Christmas went well however, I managed to get well enough to get out of bed on Christmas Eve to go see my daddy's family and the in-laws (with a pulled muscle in my back :( ). Then on Christmas day I spent most of the day laying around in Merryville feeling miserable. I was really bummed out, because my Mama was down and I barely got to spend any time with her! :(  Now I have a week left of Christmas break, and a ton left to do. I need to get my house cleaned and my lesson plans written for at least 4-5 weeks in advance for school. I only have 11 weeks left till my due date and it is getting very close.

We were suppose to move to a downstairs apartment, but due to an arrogant and ignorant apartment manager, and the apartment complex's decision to make us sign a new lease and pay all our deposits (including a $1000 pet deposit), to which I said heck no.  I can't wait to get out of this apartment complex.  I want a rent house with a fenced in yard soooo bad.  

I also am ready to start putting Remi's room together, but I don't have the space yet (Jeremy still has to move the extra stuff to his parents new storage building) or the furniture.   I do have a dresser I can move in as soon as his stuff is moved out. I want to get to organizing the baby stuff we already have, but I can't yet.

I hate to sound so negative in this post, so I'll move on to a happier subject of Remi! :)

I went to the doctor's office yesterday, and failed my glucose test by 1 point! Ugh.  This really stunk since my doctor told me she believes I basically have a 0% chance of having gestational diabetes. Word of advice don't eat AT ALL before your test. All I had was a small bowl of apple sauce and water about 3 hours before my test. I go back in Monday for the 3 hour test. Woohoo! (not) Truth be told it didn't taste as bad as all the horror stories I had heard.  I'm just not looking forward to doing it on a completely empty stomach.  

However, I did get to have an ultrasound done, and the nice ultrasound tech showed me 3-D images of Remi, and he is already looking soooooo handsome! :) I can't wait to look into those big ol' eyeballs and kiss that sweet little nose.  I also found out he is head down now (yay), so I have to see if my cervix will cooperate. So long as it does, I should be able to have a vaginal delivery. yay!   But-- we'll see. If it doesn't happen, it doesn't happen. So long as he is here and in Mama's arms. :)

Isn't he the most handsome little thing you've ever seen? :)

Baby Survey! :)

How far along? 28 Weeks 5 Days

Total weight gain/loss:I had gained 10, but I got sick, so now I'm at about 7.

Sleep: I sleep just fine, other than waking up to cough or go pee. :)  I do find that if I end up on my back when sleeping that I have back pain, but usually I sleep with a pillow.

Interesting Dreams- umm not lately- that I remember.

Best moment this week: seeing my sweet Remi on 3-D ultrasound! :)  Also getting to spend time with my sweet husband and family for Christmas.

Worst moment this week: ummm. Being utterly sick has pretty much just sucked all around.  But I also was pretty bummed when I failed that Glucose test by 1 point- and when they told me Remi has went down iin his percentile again- but my doctor still isn't worried- even though I am. : /  21st percentile as of right now- so I'm pigging out trying to gain weight, so that maybe he will too.

Movement: allll the time. Especially into my ribs. That's not the best, but I sure will miss all his little kicks after he's born.

Symptoms:I'm getting to the plain uncomfortable point in pregnancy. He basically spends the whole day in my ribs. It's hard to breathe, and it's hard to get up and do anything.  I'm getting that nesting feeling, but it isn't easy to nest when you're exhausted and sick.

 Food cravings:umm I definitely haven't been craving sweets.  Right now though, I could definitely go for a milkshake- which is new. :)

Food aversions: lately? anything with too many sharp edges that will make me cough.

 
Gender Prediction: It's a boy!

Labor Signs: Baby has turned head down! (Not exactly labor, but it's positive progress. :) )

Belly Button in/ out: Oh it's out ALL the time if I'm standing. It sinks in a little when I lay down.
What I miss: Sleeping howeverrrr I wanted to. On back, on belly, without worrying I'm suffocating my baby.
What I am looking forward to: Remi being here.
Weekly Wisdom:
Don't take on more than you can handle. It's okay to be a failure in some aspects, because it's most important to take care of yourself and your baby.

25 Weeks 3 Days :)

Baby Survey! :)

How far along? 25 weeks 3 days

Total weight gain/loss:umm not really sure. Hopefully 10 pounds by now.

Sleep: Oh mannnn has my sleeping changed. I have an anxiety disorder, so I was waking up mid panic attack at least 3 times a night, to the point where I was literally sleep deprived and depressed. So my doctor put me on this sleep medication to help me sleep, which has helped ALOT.  Originally the dose she put me on was wayyyyy too strong, and I ended up sleeping 13 hours straight (without even getting up to pee!) one day right after work. But we lowered it, and I only take it every other day now.  It has helped sooo much. I have been dead set against meds, other than the kidney pill and prenatal vitamins, but the risks are very low, and I don't wake up crying anymore.

Interesting Dreams- Weird crazy dreams that make absolutely no sense.  Last night I was a sea creature being chased by an octopus that had to breathe oxygen to live, so I out ran it by swimming too deep. lol random!

Best moment this week: hmm I'd have to say the best moment this week was spending the day with Jeremy looking for the Dark Knight Rises on blue ray- with the special cowl thingy. lol It was fun, and he was being sooo sweet and opening my door and giving me sweet hugs and kisses. I love him!

Worst moment this week: hmmm. Nothing too bad happened this week. I guess finding out we might not be getting our bonus kinda stinks, but we'll make due!

Movement: oh alll the time. He's kicking me right now in fact.

Symptoms: Sleep deprivation (before).  Weight gain.  Emotional. Having to pee every 30 minutes.  EXHAUSTION. Still. I'm always tired, even when I do sleep.

 Food cravings:I had a weird craving for an apple this week. It was delicious. PB&J was another weird one. lol

Food aversions:  chicken

 
Gender Prediction: It's a boy!

Labor Signs:none

Belly Button in/ out: Oh it's out ALL the time if I'm standing. It sinks in a little when I lay down.
What I miss: Sleeping howeverrrr I wanted to. On back, on belly, without worrying I'm suffocating my baby.
What I am looking forward to: Christmas Break!
Weekly Wisdom:
Just Breathe.  Life has a way of working every little thing out. What will be, will be, so let it be. :)

22 Weeks 6 Days

Baby Survey! :)

How far along? 22 Weeks and 6 Days :)

Total weight gain/loss: 7 pounds! :) I know that isn't a lot, but I've been working hard to gain weight. :)

Sleep: I've been sleeping well- except having to wake up to pee or when Remi is kicking me a bunch. :)

Interesting Dreams- ummm. I don't remember any of my dreams lately.

Best moment this week: feeling all Remi's sweet little kicks, and getting to see him again on the ultrasound!  I go back December 12, and I'll get to see him again.  Being high-risk is scary, but at least I get to see him a lot. :)

He is just our little acrobat. Yes, that is his feet way behind his head as he sits in the bottom of my uterus pressing on mommy's nerve. ;)


Oh! and I got to see my old best friend Rosalia. She is preggers too, but she lives in Utah, and I hadn't seen her in 2 years! I was super excited to see her beautiful face. 

Worst moment this week: stress related things

Movement: lots and lots of movement. Had my first cervix kick this week. Woah! That was an experience... lol

Symptoms:food aversions, cravings, exhaustion, emotions, burning skin (due to the stretching), umm that's it. I think. Oh yea. and I have horrible pregnancy brain. lol

 Food cravings:all things vanilla :) and candy. and sometimes random stuff like chicken salad.

Food aversions:  chicken, but really it depends on the day.

 
Gender Prediction: It's a boy!

Labor Signs:none

Belly Button in/ out: out most of the time now

What I miss: I miss not having restrictions.  I'm just always scared I'm going to do something to hurt Remi.

What I am looking forward to: Thanksgiving so I can see my Mama!
Weekly Wisdom:
Buy your baby a cute outfit. :) It's cute to see it hanging in the closet.

Wellll, now I've been thinking about a crib for the past couple of weeks and I was very up in the air, because I've always pictured a white crib.  I was unsure though, if white was an okay color for a little boy.  I finally decided that they only get to be sweet little bitty innocent babies once.  They get to have white beds and teddy bears and baby animals, and no one gets to say anything. So I decided on this white Jenny Lind crib. :)

I had a Jenny Lind crib as a baby, but mine was cherry colored.



The hubs and I are going to register at some point this week.  I wanted to do a tortoise and the hare theme, but I can't find a tortoise and the hair crib set, so we'll see what we find! :)

I want to start updating this thing more, but life is so overwhelming with school. Jeremy and I are off for a week for Thanksgiving, but he's working at The Sandbar tonight.  I wish we didn't need the money, because I hate when he works nights.:/

Random image of me and my lovely coworker and co fifth grade teacher at family fun night back right before Halloween.  I couldn't remember if I posted this. :)

  

20 Weeks 6 Days

Baby Survey! :)

How far along? 20 Weeks 6 Days!

Total weight gain/loss: about 5 pounds

Sleep: I've been sleeping well- except having to wake up to pee or when Remi is kicking me a bunch. :)

Interesting Dreams- I had the most depressing vivid dream last night, but it wasn't about sweet baby Remi.

Best moment this week: getting to spend time with my grandma

Worst moment this week: umm. There weren't any completely horrible moments this week.

Movement: The little stinker woke me up at 3am last night kicking the mess out of me. ;)

Symptoms:movement, dry flakey skin on my boobies and belly,

 Food cravings:all things vanilla :)

Food aversions:  chicken

 
Gender Prediction: It's a boy!

Labor Signs:none

Belly Button in/ out: it depends on what little Remi is doing. Sometimes it's wayyy in and sometimes it's wayyy out. :)

What I miss: I know this is horrible, but I still miss my flat stomach. I also really miss sweet tea.

What I am looking forward to: Thanksgiving so I can see my Mama!
Weekly Wisdom:
Organization is key.

19 weeks 5 days :)

So it's been a while since I've made a post.  My life has been crazy busy!  We found out what the baby is this week! :) I can't wait to meet little Remington Paul! :)

Baby Survey! :)

How far along? 19 Weeks 5 Days!

Total weight gain/loss: about 5 pounds

Sleep: I feel like all I do besides work is sleep.

Interesting Dreams- I sleep too hard to remember my dreams if I do dream. haha

Best moment this week: finding out that little Remi is on his way!

Worst moment this week: I'd rather not say.

Movement: all the time now! I love feeling his tiny little kicks, and watching my belly button move in and out!

Symptoms:movement, dry flakey skin on my boobies and belly,

 Food cravings: Nothing so much lately.

Food aversions:  umm nothing really

 
Gender Prediction: It's a boy!

Labor Signs:none

Belly Button in/ out: it depends on what little Remi is doing. Sometimes it's wayyy in and sometimes it's wayyy out. :)

What I miss: Freedom. Having a life. But that isn't due to Remi. That is due to my career. lol However, I am feeling much more motivated than my last post. I love my kiddos!

I am ashamed to admit it, but sometimes the vanity in me misses my nice little flat tummy, but I would definitely not trade that for my sweet baby!
What I am looking forward to: Thanksgiving so I can see my Mama!
Weekly Wisdom:
Appreciate what you have while you have it.

17 Weeks :)

Baby Survey! :)

How far along? 17 Weeks

Total weight gain/loss: about 5 pounds

Sleep: Could always use more, but I guess I get enough! :)

Interesting Dreams- Crazy depressing dreams about my family- Not my happiest nights of sleep. No baby dreams lately though.

Best moment this week: Being able to see exactly where my baby is in my belly now. :)

Worst moment this week: Realizing that teaching may not be my calling, because it's horribly overwhelming and depressing and I may not be that good at it. Blugh!

Movement: I keep waiting, but I can't feel it yet. However I can tell where it's at based on my lopsided belly and how high it is sitting.

Symptoms:exhaustion- both mental and physical.

 Food cravings: Nothing so much lately.

Food aversions:  umm nothing really

 
Gender Prediction: Girl. Boy. Girl. Boy. Girl. Boy. lol

Labor Signs:none

Belly Button in/ out: in the middle. lol still in, but I don't know how long that will last.

What I miss: caffeine. so so much. and being able to wear anything in my closet. that was nice. lol

What I am looking forward to: Finding out what the baby is in 2 1/2 weeks! :)

Weekly Wisdom:

“I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish He didn't trust me so much.”

 Mother Teresa of Calcutta quotes
Pretty much sums it up. :)

16 weeks 1 Day

 So, I'm two weeks late on my post, but I went through a devastating tragedy last weekend. My Papa passed away suddenly from a ruptured colon.  He was 76.  He had a lung transplant 2 1/2 years ago, and the medicine he was on weakened his tissue.  I feel blessed that I had such an amazing man in my life for an as long as I did.  I was blessed with him next door almost all of my childhood.  I was blessed with him at my college graduation, and I was blessed to have him bless my marriage at my wedding.  It was one of the hardest things I have ever lived through to have to hug him in his coffin and walk away, knowing I would never see him again.  It reminded me so much of when my brother passed away when I was 11.  I would write more details of the day he died, but it is very hard for me, and I know that day will stay with me forever.  Papa wasn't just a grandfather, but was like a 2nd father to me.  A man that influenced the person I have become.  I'm not sure I'd be a teacher if it wasn't for him.  Rest in peace Papa.  I cannot wait to see you again.

On a happier note, I am 16 weeks 1 day, and tomorrow I get to go to the doctor! Hopefully I'll find out the gender in 4 weeks! :)

Baby Survey! :)

How far along? 16 Weeks 1 Dat

Total weight gain/loss: not sure

Sleep:I've actually gotten more energy, so I'm not passing out at 8:30 every night. :)

Interesting Dreams- I've had some weird dreams about my family. No baby dreams as of late.

Best moment this week: umm coming back from being gone for 4 days off work after Papa passed away to school and having all my kids let me know how much they missed me, and all wrote me sympathy cards. :) That and seeing my belly pop out all lopsided. :)

Worst moment this week: Saying Goodbye to my Papa.

Movement: Baby's moving, mommy just can't feel it yet!

Symptoms:Still morning sickness, some food cravings, body breakouts- ugh, belly poking out! :)

 Food cravings: Chocolate Milk. :)

Food aversions:  Chicken. I don't know if I'll ever be able to eat chicken again.

 
Gender Prediction: Girl. Boy. Girl. Boy. Girl. Boy. lol

Labor Signs:none

Belly Button in/ out: in the middle. lol still in, but I don't know how long that will last.

What I miss: caffeine. so so much. and being able to wear anything in my closet. that was nice. lol

What I am looking forward to: Tomorrow, and hopefully finding out what we're having in 4 weeks! :)

Weekly Wisdom: The good Lord giveth and the good Lord taketh away. 

Milestones: Lopsided belly made it's premier! :)

14 Weeks :)

 School Blues
Well, other than being phenomenally stressed out over school, life has been going quite well.  Between SLTs, GLEs, CCS, Discovery Education Tests, AR tests, and just figuring out what the heck I'm suppose to be teaching every week, I feel very overwhelmed most of the time.  But, my class is doing phenomenal!  We won Whole Class Compliment last week, which is what the kids get from other teachers.  It means we got the most compliments on our class all week.  We actually split it with two other teachers, but I was quite proud! :)  I have my kids aiming to win it again, and they are working very hard to gain their AR points.   Sometimes I feel like I'm not teaching them what they need to know, or question whether how I am teaching them is going to be of any use on the iLEAP test.  The iLEAP wouldn't concern me at all, if it wasn't now affecting my possible job situation and pay I have to be concerned.  I could create an entire blog dedicated to the ridiculousness of the fact that teachers  are judged so harshly by the world, when very few people truly know just how much teachers sacrifice of their own lives to make their child's life better.  I have decided though, that I am simply going to do the very best I can this year, and if I fail,what will be will be.  I have to focus on my baby, because that is what is MOST important!  I am slightly concerned, because I haven't been putting on the weight the way I feel I am suppose to.  Sure my boobies have gotten huge and my belly is poking out, but my weight hasn't changed. :(  Anywho, Onto to my weekly survey! :)

 Baby Survey! :)

How far along? 14 Weeks

Total weight gain/loss: 0

Sleep:wonderfully, not enough time for sleep and life though!

Interesting Dreams- umm I had some weird ones last night, but I don't remember them now. Just that they were weird.

Best moment this week: hmm Winning Whole Class Compliment with my kids! and spending quality time with my hubby. He's the best! :)

Worst moment this week: All the stress from work- not really a moment, but that has had me at my wits end more than once this week.

Movement: Baby's moving, mommy just can't feel it yet!

Symptoms: Cravings, Big ol' boobies, poochy little belly,  and ooooh have I had mood swings!

 Food cravings: Taco Bell. Taco Bell. Did I mention Taco Bell? I NEVER ate their before I got pregnant, and now I eat there almost every day. Nothing else will do. lol

Food aversions: Sandwiches gross me out. and Chicken. I don't know if I'll ever be able to eat chicken again.

 
Gender Prediction: Girl. Boy. Girl. Boy. Girl. Boy. lol

Labor Signs:none

Belly Button in/ out: iin---- but I honestly already see it working it's way out.


What I miss: caffeine. so so much. and being able to wear anything in my closet. that was nice. lol

What I am looking forward to: next week's doctor's appointment! And finding out what the sex is- which I don't believe is happening for another 5 weeks. :)

Weekly Wisdom: This week I learned that it's okay to not be perfect.  It's all about priorities. 
Milestones:Progress reports? lol ummm Baby is in 2nd trimester. Mommy had to buy lots of new clothes today, because other clothes don't fit so well anymore. *sigh*

12 Weeks 6 Days :)

How far along? 12 Weeks 6 Days

Total weight gain/loss: not really sure

Sleep:horribly last night, but otherwise okay. Bad anxiety attack at 4:30 this morning. Didn't get back to sleep till 6ish.

Interesting Dreams- My sister dreamed it was a girl, and I dreamed it was a girl, but the ultrasound looked like a boy, but it was too early to tell. ahhh. 

Best moment this week: Starting to get my energy back! So exciting. :) andddddddd My new little cousin Grayson Vaughn Jett was born! andddddd The weather is cooling down! :)

Worst moment this week: anxiety attack at 4:30 in the morning pretty much blows.

Movement: I can't feel it, but I saw my little toot on the ultrasound last week and it was just jumping all over the place and kicking it's little feet. :)

Symptoms: Cravings, Big ol' boobies, poochy little belly,  and ooooh have I had mood swings!

 Food cravings: Taco Bell.Pickles (sometimes) and I want some caffeine soooooooooooooo bad, but I've stayed strong to keep my little baby safe. :)

Food aversions: umm I've been having less and less of those.

 
Gender Prediction: ohhhhhh I dunoooooo. I get so confused. lol

Labor Signs:none

Belly Button in/ out: iin---- but I honestly already see it working it's way out.


What I miss: caffeine. so so much. and being able to wear anything in my closet. that was nice. lol

What I am looking forward to: my baby being here safe and sound in my arms. and Halloween. I have no exciting plans, but I just love holidays. :)

Weekly Wisdom: Pray always.
Milestones: Wellll since this is technically my 13 week update- tomorrow I make it to my 2nd trimester! :)

11 Weeks 5 Days :)

11 Weeks 5 Days (1st pic arm, bent leg, and foot)

11 Weeks 3 Days

How far along? 11 Weeks 5 Days

Total weight gain/loss: I gained 5, but then I stayed so sick I lost 5. :(

Sleep:Amazingly

Interesting Dreams- My sister dreamed it was a girl, but I have reason to believe otherwise.

Best moment this week: Finding out I was NOT having a miscarriage. :)

Movement: I can't feel it, but I saw my little toot on the ultrasound and it was just jumping all over the place and kicking it's little feet. :)

Symptoms: Cravings, Nausea has let up ALOT! (yay!) Exhaustion- let up some too. Little poochy belly

 Food cravings: Taco Bell. ALL THE TIME. I could eat some right now. mmmm (I've eaten it the past 3 days.)

Food aversions: umm I haven't wanted anything too too sweet lately.

 
Gender Prediction: Boy :)

Labor Signs:Well I thought I was having a miscarriage... a little bleeding and bad back pain- turned out the blood was from the other uterus and the back pain- other than at my sciatic nerve has went away. :)

Belly Button in/ out: iin---- but I honestly already see it working it's way out.

What I miss: caffeine and Mexican food.

What I am looking forward to: my baby being here safe and sound in my arms. 

Weekly Wisdom: Pray always.
Milestones: Seeing my little toot kicking around and flipping. So cute!



Well this week has been one of the most horrific I've had in a LONG TIME.  Hurricane Isaac decided to blow through (causing lots of damage, but little in my area) and the very same night I discovered blood upon going to the restroom.  I panicked- ran to get my husband and told him we had to go to the emergency room.  Off we went for 6 hours, through blood tests, urine tests, taco bell cravings, and an ultrasound (which was amazing-- it was the first time I saw my adorable baby moving! I also was told it was possible that it is a boy due to a certain something on the screen... but that it was still too early to tell for sure) for the doctor to tell me I had a threatened miscarriage. I asked if it was possible the bleeding was from the other uterus, and he said no, but that he wasn't sure and my doctor could clear that up. So I went into a state of complete depression-- sure that I was going to lose my baby.  The next day my doctor's office was closed due to the hurricane, so all I could do was sit and wait for Friday left alone with my anxiety and horrifying thoughts.  That led to a day of crying all day.  The next day I finally got to see my doctor (and my baby! and hear it's tiny heartbeat :) )  and after several tests I was assured that the bleeding had in fact come from the other uterus- it still has blood in it, and that my baby was perfectly healthy. :)  

Now it is time to relax and enjoy my labor day weekend. :)

I will post the pictures from the ultrasounds in a few days!

Back up 2 days! 8 weeks and 4 days!

Sooo I went to the doctor on Wednesday for my first (doctor's) ultrasound! It was so exciting. My baby measured at 1.6cm.  We got to see my adorable little peanut, his/her heartbeat, and HEAR the heartbeat! That was soooo exciting! We did find out that how far along I am is 2 days less than what I thought (no big though!) Jeremy did not get to come (see below), but my sister and my friend Chasity got to come! It was so cool getting to see my baby on the big tv screen and watch it's little heartbeat. Here's my little toot!

You can kinda see a face turned to the side in this one. :)

 I wish Jeremy could have come, but his mean ol' boss wouldn't let him. However, he got a new job this week! On Wednesday he will be starting at Peabody High School as the new World Geography/ Junior High PE teacher! Yay! I'm so so so excited! This means that we will now have the money to live a little more comfortably and be able to afford baby! :)

Today is my brother clint's bday so I thought I'd share some old pictures of him. He turned 31 today. This is him when he was more like 8ish. :) I'm the cute little baby he's sliding with! :)

So, speaking of baby pictures of me, I was in Merryville this past week, and decided to do a little baby mama research. ;) This is what I looked like as a baby!

Newborn me!

1ish- Jeremy says I looked like a little boy. boo on him! lol

3ish :)

   

and Finally, Me at 8 Weeks!

So, I start back to school basically tomorrow (kids come Friday), and I'm a tad overwhelmed.  I think I have it all together though.  I just hope I can reach the kids- and teach them everything they need to know, before I have to leave school for maternity leave or bed-rest (whichever comes first). 

OMG. Nausea, Go Away!

So I'm officialy 7 weeks and 6 days.  I was going to wait till tomorrow to blog, but I'm at home alone, watching pretty little liars, and fighting throwing up-- for the third time today.  No one can possibly explain how bad nausea is.  I do not have "morning sickness." I wake up sick and I go to bed sick.  I can eat very few limited selections, which narrowed down even more today.  I wish my husband was at home, and not working, so I could get him to go get me some McDonald's chicken nuggets.  I seemed to tolerate them okay yesterday.  I'm not sure how well I would today.  This may be a bit too much information, but I'm going insane.  I just wish there was a set date as to when this was suppose to end, to know when I'd get some relief.  I purchased 3 bags of Gin Gin candy.

This stuff is suppose to work as some kind of miracle cure for nausea.  Here's hoping. 

So since I am only technically hours from being 8 weeks along, I am going to go ahead and post my weekly survey.

How far along? 8 Weeks (- 4 hours)

Total weight gain/loss: Well I had gained 2 but now I'm back down to 120... Thanks Nausea.  I appreciate it. *sarcasm*

Sleep: I've still been sleeping well.

 

Interesting Dreams: hmmm none this week

Best moment this week:  Discovering that Gingerale will quiet my nausea... Here's hoping the Ginger Candy will too. :)

Movement: n/a

Symptoms: Nausea. OMG the nausea.  It has taken over my life. I've been tired as well, but mainly NAUSEA. ugh. :(

 Food cravings: Nothing. I don't crave food. I tolerate food. I can go for some Gingerale though. ;)

Food aversions: Everything. lol 

 
Gender: my prediction today is a girl.  But we'll see!

 
Labor Signs: n/a

Belly Button in/ out: in

What I miss: Eating whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted, without having to think twice about it.

What I am looking forward to: Nausea going away!

Weekly Wisdom: Eat crackers before you ever lift your head (Thanks Aunt Allison!) and drink Gingerale.  Don't be afraid to ask for help. 

 
Milestones: ummm Some things say my baby is now a fetus, instead of an embryo. :)

Also, I need this for my baby.

I do feel this is appropriate for babies born from mommy's with uterine didelphys. ;)


and this. :)
BC it's appropriate for baby's with a teacher for a mommy. :)

  
I will take my first prego picture on Wednesday when we go for our first ultrasound appointment with our doc. :)
 

7 Weeks 1 Day

Well I wanted to take a pic of my pretty much nonexistent belly, but I'll do it tomorrow. Or maybe for 8 weeks.  However, I do need to do my weekly survey. :)

How far along? 7 Weeks 1 Day

Total weight gain/loss: + 2 pounds (total)

Sleep: All the time.  I slept most of the day yesterday.  School starts in 2 weeks.  That should be interesting.

 

Interesting Dreams: I added this one this week, because I've had loads of crazy dreams.  A couple of nights ago I dreamed my husband painted our kitchen baby pink... hmmm.  I decided not to read too much into that. lol ;)

Best moment this week:  Going to Shreveport with my sister to see my niece and her daddy and mommy. She's 1 and just precious. andddddd buying a few new dresses.

Movement: Other than the food coming back up? ;) lol

Symptoms: FATIGUE! Food aversions. About 3 days ago the nausea hit.  I've only puked like twice, but the nausea stays pretty constant.  My boobies are still sore. 

 Food cravings: I craveee Orange Fanta, Subway Salads, and I have been craving all kinds of healthy stuff.  Veggies, fruits, etc.  Which is exciting. Should keep me away from all that bad stuff I ate before baby. ;)

Food aversions: A LOT.  Very little has seemed very appealing lately.  I have been able to eat a little more sweet stuff, but stuff like candy  is totally OUT.
 
Gender: my prediction today is a girl.  But we'll see!

 
Labor Signs: n/a

Belly Button in/ out: in

What I miss: Queso from El Parian. and basically just not having to worry about what I eat.  I miss not being exhausted to.

What I am looking forward to: Being through with the first trimester.  

Weekly Wisdom: Just take everything as your body lets you.  Your body is programmed for this after all.  Eat when you are hungry, and sleep when you are tired.

 
Milestones: hmm According to my pregnancy ap, my baby is now the size of a raspberry. :)  In no time at all it will be a whole inch from head to tiny little rump. :)

 

6 Weeks 5 Days :)

Well I've had quite a few interesting things happen here lately.  Let's start with the my new car!!! My old car had not been running for the past week, and it was going to cost $1500 to fix. I refused to spend that much on a ten year old car.  So, I decided to drive up to the Mazda to look, and came home with the car I've wanted since I was 17.  2012 Mazda 3. :)

This is what I looked like the day I bought my car... or atleast my belly. :) It's totally just bloating, but I stay bloated.

I was so proud of myself! I didn't even have to have my dad or husband cosign.  I bought it all on my own credit, at the monthly rate I wanted, with a 1.9% interest rate. :)  It drives wonderfully, and it makes me feel a lot better for when the baby comes.  I have peace of mind that my baby and I will not have to worry about something going wrong with my car, and if it does not being able to afford to fix it.

This is a cute bulletin board that a fellow teacher and I created for our hall. We are going to add hands with yearly goals when school starts.

Now on baby news.  I have finally reached the stage of nausea AND vomiting.  Only once a day.  Right after I wake up.  No fun! But I was secretly happy, because it's all part of the experience.  I may eat those words later, but for now I will try not to complain, because it just means my baby is growing inside me. :)  

Who Loves Orange Soda? :)

Hiya Peoples. :)

Not too much on the pregnancy front today.  My chest pain and back pain have finally let up.  So I thought I'd do this post a little different.  However, let me first state, that ONCE AGAIN today I was locked out of my apartment today for 100 degree weather for an hour.  They FINALLY changed my lock, however I got locked out AFTER the lock was changed.  Apparently the other side (where the little hole is) is what was crooked.  They fixed that.  I got a copy of my lease, and their is literally a clause in there that states, "Tenant must pay rent even if we do not uphold our end of the lease." SERIOUSLY? I will never again sign ANYTHING that signs my money away for a year without reading every word of it. Lesson learned.


Pregnancy Survey!

How far along? 6 Weeks 1 Day

Total weight gain/loss: + 2 pounds

Sleep: If you count starting at 6 weeks it hasn't been a problem at all. :) I sleep soundly. I sleep at any minute I can.  I took a 2 hour nap this evening.  

Best moment this week: hmm hitting six 6 weeks. and buying my three Fanta from downstairs. :)

Movement: too early

Symptoms: FATIGUE! Food aversions, but no nausea (yet!)  A little heartburn. My boobies ache! and of course I pee ALL the time.

 Food cravings: I craveee Orange Fanta, Subway Salads, and Pickles.  I think I'm partial to sour tasting things. lol :)

Food aversions: Sweet stuff.  Chocolate. blugh.
 
Gender: I won't know this for a while. Some days I want a boy. Some days I want a girl.  

Labor Signs: n/a

Belly Button in/ out: in

What I miss: Queso from El Parian. and basically just not having to worry about what I eat.  I miss not being exhausted to.

What I am looking forward to: Being through with the first trimester.  

Weekly Wisdom: Stay away from boards. Sure they have happy stories.  But all it takes is one horror story to throw you over the edge of worry to the ocean of panic.

Milestones: My baby's beautiful lips and eyes are forming. :)  I don't fit in my clothes anymore. (partly because I gained 5 pounds before I ever got pregnant though ;) ) 

And just because I finally figured out how to add photos from my phone on here:  Here are a couple other cute pregnancy pics.                            

                                  I took this one first!  Was in complete shock, but sooo excited! :) :)

                              After a few days my friends made me paranoid, so I took 3 more! lol :)

                                                                        5 1/2 Weeks!

 

My attempt at a belly shot the day of my first visit. 5 Weeks and 2 days. :)

 

My sleepy Lily. :) 

                                    The outfit I found with a picture of Lily on it. lol I didn't buy it.

My Chewie hiding in the Ramen box after being caught digging in the trashcan.

                                                    My baby daddy and his Chewie. ;)